2.5 Weeks!

In exactly 2.5 weeks I will be leaving for Bolivia.

This week, it started to hit me: 

I have never left this country.

I am traveling alone. 

I will be living in a foreign country. 

I don't know exactly what I will be doing. 

I am still a teenager. 

...Am I crazy? 

The answer: No, my God is CRAZY faithful! 

I question Bolivia and God quickly sweeps them away with reminders of His faithfulness. 

To anyone who has questioned my sanity as I volunteer in Bolivia, here is some comfort (this is just as much for me as it is for you!): 

"Where can I go from your spirit? 

Where can I flee from your presence? 

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 

If I rise on the wings of dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day, 

for darkness is as light to you." 

-Psalm 139:7-12

And, some inspiration from Pinterest: 

"He tends his flock like a shepherd:

He gathers the lambs in his arms

and carriers them close to his heart;

he gently leads those that have young"

-Isaiah 40:11

"Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:

Who created these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one,

and calls them each by name.

Because of his great power and mighty strength,

not one of them is missing."

-Isaiah 40:26

After having a nice long conversation with my mom, I believe that my feelings are results of Satan attacking me. He is trying to discourage me and turn my mind from the things that really matter: glorifying God. So yes, I may not be able to perform incredible surgeries or be able to have a flawless conversation with someone in Spanish, but my God uses the weak and foolish. I don't know what God has in store for me but I have faith that He wants me in Bolivia and will use me where He wants. All I can say is "Send me!" and He will take care of the rest.

I would deeply appreciate prayer during the next couple weeks. I have finals and am feeling very burnt out. Pray that my strength would be renewed and that God would give me strength to fight untruthful ideas that Satan is putting in my head.

More Than I Can Handle

"For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for me will find it." -Matthew 16:25

“Jesus wrecked my life, shattered it to pieces,
and put it back together more beautifully.” -Katie Davis 

If you haven't read Kisses From Katie, then put it on your list of things to read. At first I was a little skeptical. I thought the book would be all about how amazing Katie Davis was. For example: how she left all she ever knew to live in rural Uganda at the age of 19, how she adopted 18 kids, how she decided to stay in Uganda (the list goes on and on). And yes, Katie Davis has done some incredible things- but only because she was obeying God.      

For a while, Katie didn't know if God wanted her to stay in Uganda or move back to the states. She didn't want to make the wrong or ungodly decision. As a Christian, this is something I am constantly praying/thinking about. Does God want me to go to Biola or Wheaton? Does God want me to be a nurse or a doctor? Does God want me to medical missions or work in the states? These questions flood (or flooded) my thoughts. I truly want to live the life Christ wants me to live. Katie explains that following God is the answer to knowing His will for our lives. He WILL make is will known if we are following Him. 

"I believe that God is in control, yes, but I also belief the we have a choice: I can follow Him or I can turn my back on Him. I can say yes to Him or I can say no. I can go to the hard places or remain comfortable. And if I remain comfortable, God who loves us unconditionally will continue to love me anyways. I may see His glory revealed in my life and recognize His blessings, but not like I could have." -Katie Davis 

When we are close to God and willing to do whatever He asks, we are living in His will. God will make his will clear. 

Katie shows that Christians aren't called to be safe. We are called to love. This can be the most dangerous calling, one that takes people across the world to places filled with disease and poverty. 

“We are not called to be safe, we are simply promised that when we are in danger, God is right there with us. And there is no better place to be than in His hands.” -Katie Davis 

As I go to Bolivia I know that I am living God's will. I am praying that- if I enter danger- I will remember that God is right there with me. 

"If God is for us, then who can be against us?" -Romans 8:31

The third thing God taught me about this book relates to poverty and disease. Perhaps my favorite quote from the whole book relates to nursing and missions (two things I love). 

"Disease is certainly not a sin. And poverty is not a sin; it is a condition, a circumstance that allows God's work to be displayed." -Katie Davis

Amen! Disease is awful, in fact it makes me sick. To know that it makes God sick but that it can be used to glorify his power and love is so comforting. God doesn't make people sick, we allowed sickness and disease into this world the minute humans starting sinning. He uses disease as a model for his love and compassion. He is the ultimate doctor and healer. 

Finally, I was struck by this quote. 

"God gives us more than we can handle." -Katie Davis

It is so true, yet I hear Christians (myself included) saying, "God only gives us what we can handle." REALLY? God will only give you what you can handle? I don't know about you, but I can't handle sickness or relationships without Christ at the center. I would be an awful friend and daughter/sister without Christ. God gives me more than I can handle, but then he fills in that gap. Without his power and strength I would be drowning in the pain of this world. By God's grace, I am able to serve Him in Bolivia. It it more than I can handle. Yet, I know that I am obeying God and He will use my weaknesses to bring glory to His name.    

You can find Katie's blog here: On Earth As It Is In Heaven

When Helping Hurts

In order to prepare for the trip, I have been reading about poverty. HOH requires every volunteer to read parts of When Helping Hurts before the trip. I wanted to share some of the things I learned from the presentation with you.

The idea that we are all poor was addressed. We ALL need Christ. To address poverty, we must come in with the idea that only God can rescue us sinners from poverty. He alone can make us rich with joy, compassion, kindness, and love.

This image shows some of the things that people think of as the causes and solutions for poverty.

The REAL cause of poverty is broken relationships. Broken relationships with God, man, and with ourselves are reasons why all of us are poor.

I have included some quotes that echo and reinforce what I wrote above.

"Poverty is the result of relationships that do not work, they are not just, they are not for life, they are not harmonious or enjoyable. Poverty is the absence of shalom in all its meanings." -Bryant L. Myers 

"Until we embrace our mutual brokenness, our work with low-income people is likely to do far more harm than good. -(WHH, p. 64)"

Poverty is rooted in broken relationships, so the solution to poverty is rooted in the power of Jesus’ death and resurrection to put all things into right relationship again.‖ (WHH, p. 77)

Poverty alleviation is the ministry of reconciliation: moving people closer to glorifying God by living in right relationship with God, with self, with others, and with the rest of creation.‖ (WHH, p. 78)•

"Material poverty alleviation is working to reconcile the four foundational relationships so that people can fulfill their calling of glorifying God by working and supporting themselves and their families with the fruit of that work.‖ (WHH, p. 78)

Avoid Paternalism. "Do not do things for people that they cannot do for themselves." 

Understanding that missions is about glorifying God and that I won't ever be able to solve the world's problems is very important. Only God can change people and take them out of the cycle of poverty. I am glad I will be serving the only one who can truly make people rich! 

If you would like to read the book, here is the link. 
Here is the link to the presentation Hospitals Of Hope had me read. 

God's plan > my plan

When I started thinking about going to Bolivia, I kept pushing the idea out of my head. I didn't think I was qualified and I didn't think I had the right intentions. God's plan is always better. Whenever I had doubts, a sermon or chapel would discredit my thoughts. For example, when I felt inadequate, my Old Testament teacher spoke on how God uses the unlikely (Moses, Abraham, Joseph). Funny timing. 

I started to pray about the trip more seriously. Maybe God really did want me going to Bolivia. I spent hours on the Hospitals of Hope website. I emailed the organization in search of more information. The pieces started falling together. But, I felt that I needed a friend- someone to travel across the world with. 

Two friends entered my mind. I felt that I needed at least one travel companion and so I prayed and asked them if they would be interested. To make a long story short, neither of them were able to go. One friend even applied and was planning on going, but some things came up that prevented her from going. Again, God's plan>our plan. After hearing that the two people I thought were meant to go on the trip weren't able to go, I was crushed. I didn't think that I could go to Bolivia alone. I might get abducted, or lost, or die! I might, I might, I might...

I had two options: go or stay. My parents had a peace about the trip. My mom even said, "When I was your age I went to communist Hungary by myself. I think you should go." My dad was equally supportive. I had a peace about going. Now that things have settled down, I am starting to see that God's plan is better. Of course I would have loved to have my friends come with me, but God wasn't calling them to Bolivia this summer. He has called me and His plans are always better. 

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:8 

Now, I have to realize that God- the ultimate protector- will be guiding me through this trip. I won't know a single person, I will be entering a new culture, I don't know the language very well, and I am traveling alone. It is scary. To the world, this may seem crazy. But, to use the words of Francis Chan, "God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.”

My new favorite song is Oceans by Hillsong. It talks about how God calls us out upon the waters, 'the great unknown.' Bolivia is my great unknown but if I keep my eyes on Christ, He will keep me from sinking. 

This is my prayer (and a part of the song):  

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever you would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my saviour.

And the song is so good, everyone should listen to it. :) 

Never Stop Fighting

I don't have a lot of experience working with the poor. However, I have served on Skid Row in LA. There are so many people suffering and living lives that are harmful to themselves and others. It can be overwhelming. Often times I would feel like I wasn't making an impact. The problem was so big. I was so small.

Poverty is big. 

Hearing the statistics is motivating, but then I realize that I am just one person. What can I do? Is it worth it? One person can do a lot with the power of the Holy Spirit (Philippians 4:13). While poverty is big, we can't stop fighting. Why? 

Because that orphan, that widow, that homeless person is one of us. Jesus died for them too. We are called to love our neighbors as ourself. I wouldn't want to be without parents, I wouldn't want to be poor, I wouldn't want to live on the streets. 

CLICK HERE AND WATCH THIS VIDEO! 

Source: A Life Overseas

Video source: World Relief Vimeo

Funds Update

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:19

I hadn't heard anything about my fundraising. I was getting anxious as my trip is rapidly approaching. 

Then, I got an email from Daniel at Hospitals Of Hope telling me that my supporters have given me $1,180.  Thank you! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! to everyone who has donated. I am so humbled by everyone's generosity. 

The next step is getting my plane tickets figured out. This is getting real! 

The guesthouse I will be staying in! 

The Mission

Saludos (‘Greetings!’ in Spanish)! I would like to take a few minutes of your time to share with you about something Christ has put on my heart. For a while now, I have been praying about missions and wondering if I could use my passion for medicine to impact the world for Christ. I am so excited to write that the Lord has opened the door. I will be volunteering in Bolivia this summer with an organization called Hospitals Of Hope. Hospitals of Hope is an organization that aims to, “show Christ’s love by healing bodies and souls”; they do this by bringing much-needed healthcare to third world countries- all in the name of Christ.

As a volunteer, I will be sharing the love of Jesus with many patients and helping around the hospital. I will also be working in the local orphanages, doing street ministry, and [hopefully] seeing some surgeries. I pray that I will be able to share the joy that Christ brings to my life with the Bolivians we will be meeting.

I will be entering a world of unknowns as I go to Bolivia, and so I would like to ask for your prayer while I am preparing for the trip. Please pray for the people that I will come in contact with. Pray that their hearts and minds would be open to hearing the name of Jesus.  

A second way you could help is partnering with me financially. I need to raise $2,500 to cover the traveling and living expenses. We would also like to purchase some Spanish Bibles and medical supplies to give out while we are there. Please pray about giving. If you feel led to support us financially please go here. The money will be sent directly to Hospital Of Hope as they purchase our airfare and food.

If you would like to learn more about Hospitals Of Hope, I encourage you to visit their website at: hospitalsofhope.org

If you have any questions, please email Bethany at: bethany.joy.smith@biola.edu 

Thank you for your time!