Finding God in Sickness

**For any concerned readers, I am 100% healed today. I just had some food poisoning, as my stomach is used to American food- not delicious Bolivian food. It could have been a lot worse and everyone here took great care of me. Thank you for your concerns. :)

My time in Bolivia has been incredibly humbling for me. God has been teaching and revealing so much during the past week. Through my ‘heart leakage’ God has shown me the areas that need strengthening in my life. He has showed me that He is the only healer. Nothing I ever do will be able to fix a person, it is all God.

Part of the humbling process I have experienced in Bolivia has been through sickness. Last night I woke up with an awful stomach ache. It was just a case of food poisoning, but God taught me some valuable lessons. 

Laying here, I feel more useless than I have ever felt before. Then, I am reminded that I am always sick.  If it isn’t my body, my soul and spirit are weak. I turn away from God constantly. He is my Pepto-Bismol that I frequently forget to take. His Word is the fluid that I need to drink, even though I am normally dehydrated.  Even though I forget these things, He keeps pursuing me.

“I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” –Philippians 1:6

Spiritually speaking, I have the stomach flu. My soul should be feverish and dead.  Yet, God allows us to be a part of his story.  God fills in the gaps and I am so thankful for that.

I am reading a book called Anything: The Prayer That Unlocked My God and My Soul. This quote from the book really hit me.

“The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will” (Prov. 21:1). It is only God who moves my heart. He chases me down and lures me back to him; while I am running to everyone else, he runs after me.

God keeps running after me, even when I am sick. He loves me, even though I am sick. And he keeps changing me, even though I am sick. I am so thankful that I worship a God who is the ultimate healer.